New Required Subject: Philippines 101

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I propose to all Philippine educational institutions that a subject called “Philippines 101″ be a required subject in all undergraduate programs. I have been searching for the single root cause of the wide-spread stupidity and poverty in this country called the Philippines. But then it dawned on me that there is no Single Reason why Filipinos generally lack common sense. There are HUNDREDS OF REASONS!!!  - so many that we can come up with an entire multiple-volume “Encyclopedia of Filipino Stupidity”. But to fit 1 … Continue reading…

SM Appliance Center on the Art of Wasting Customer’s Time

SM Appliance Center always out of stock

I did something yesterday that I don’t often do. I left the house. But I left with full expectation that I would probably return having not accomplished at least one or more of the tasks I set out to do. But one must take risks in Philippines, otherwise no tasks can be accomplished. It’s a roll of the dice. My washing machine is 7 years old, and I’ve had it repaired a couple of times. I’m quite pleasantly surprised it lasted 2 years beyond it’s … Continue reading…

Everyone is Filipino

We are Filipino

Hey buddies, I know it’s been 5 weeks since I last been on here, but I can’t run away forever.  I knew I would be back on here eventually if I ran into a Filipino-related problem (which is inevitably inescapable). Actually, I had negative Filipino encounters during those 5 weeks with my first one being within the first week of my absence from PFB.com, so don’t be too surprised that it took 5 weeks.  During my encounters, needless to say that it deals with their … Continue reading…

5 Annoying Words Filipinos Use Which Have a Completely Different Meaning

Viand- A choice dish; A tasty dish. Usually used to describe foie gras, caviar, or a savory piece of meat. Pinoy Viand- Anything you can eat with rice. Soy sauce, Fish sauce, Mung beans, Filthy pond fish, etc. Logistics- Flow of goods between 2 points. Pinoy Logistics- an english word accompanied by excuses as to why they will fuck up in every possible way Vernacular-using ordinary speech or language vs formal. Pinoy Vernacular-A term filipinos use to make themselves sound smarter than they really are; … Continue reading…

Out Of Stock, Try This Store Located Elsewhere… Infinite Loop

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Failapinos can’t do business. About 3 months ago i decided that i would highly enjoy having a magnetic charging doc specifically for my smart phone. What i thought would just take 1-2 visits to a Sony or Xperia store. However that was extremely folly of me to expect convenience in finding a product, instead it turned into a never ending quest. I always encounter flippyfailapino floor sales children, that truly don’t know their trade continue to direct me to the next Sony or Xperia store … Continue reading…

This Site is a Gold Mine!

Hello to all the readers here! This has got to be one of the best blogs I’ve come across on the Internet. It’s now 4:21 a.m. and I’ve just realized I’ve been reading on this site into the early morning. I’m 100% native Filipino, spent my years as a teenager in Cameroon and Kenya, became a physician in Argentina and now enjoying Cebu City. Seriously, I was beginning to think something’s wrong with me for thinking there’s a lot of stupid things going on around this place and a … Continue reading…

Top 10 Popular Jobs in The Philippines

1. Marry a foreigner 2. Have a family member married to a foreigner 3. Have a family member working outside Philippines 4. Inventing sudden illnesses paid by family 5. Scamming loved ones 6. Scamming foreigners 7. Divorce a foreigner 8. Getting pregnant with a foreigner 9. Never leaving parents 10. Moving in with spouse’s family Least popular job in the Philippines 1. Work … Continue reading…

Theft Failure

So for the 3rd time in less than 2 months some stupid Filipino tried to steal a part/accessory off my car. Fairly rare car i own and little bit on the expensive side. Very hard to find parts. There are only handful of people that can afford to own them and the majority of them live in my community. So the first time was a Tow Ring attached under the back bumper. This piece can easily be removed by simply twisting it to the left. … Continue reading…

In Light of the Singapore “Hate Blog” Against Filipinos

So the big news going on in Philippines right now is about the Singapore “hate blog” which allegedly advocated and encouraged discrimination or unfair treatment of Filipinos in Singapore. “The Philippine embassy has urged Singaporean authorities to take action against the blogger.” I have to say that if that blogger was instigating or encouraging unfair or discriminatory treatment of anyone in Singapore, and if it violates Singapore law, then I guess there is some basis for action against the blogger. But isn’t it ironic how … Continue reading…

Why Are You Here?…..HATERS!!!

Filipinos are so stupid

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?” This question is not one I have to wait around to hear some pissy Flip ask me. In fact it is one I am asking myself every day. “Why are you here? “ The question is loud and resounding; it reverberates around my mind over and over again. I ask myself this no less than 40 times a day.Every time I see a fucker doing something stupid, every time I see them having a victim mentality, every time I see them … Continue reading…

Can It Get More Stupid?

sales agent11

To support@convergeict.com Jun 10 at 8:08 PM Dear Valued Cable TV Subscribers, We will be having an emergency maintenance activity in our Cable TV System tomorrow, June 11, 2014, from 10 am to 5pm. You may experience the following issues during this period: (1) Program Pause, (2) No Signal, (3) Insert Smart Card. If you happen to experience any of these problems, you may do the following steps: 1. Re-insert the access/smart card located on your Cable Box(ATM card like) or 2. Perform Channel/Auto search(refer to … Continue reading…

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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When I talk to most expats the only reason they are here is for girls. Period. Full Stop. Not the food, not the sights, not the architecture, not the Rice Terraces……..VERY SIMPLY, it is for the girls. Please keep this in mind. Now I can understand that if you are in your later years the idea of chasing 18 year old tail can brighten the eyes of any cynic. That is what you need to focus on. Just that. If you are coming here due to poor … Continue reading…

Pride of The Philippines

pacman

Here is short one. I read earlier on this site different things about Pinoy pride. I thought I could add a few to the long list of things the Pinoy can be proud of! 1. Be proud of Manny Pacman Pacquiao. The Philippines national hero! Oh wait that was Rizal right? Sorry to burst that empty bubble sitting between your ears pinoys. Pacman is a congressman from Mindanao. You know that bread basket in the south that has been trying secede from the country for … Continue reading…

Do You Have 4 Pesos Sir?

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I thought I’d share my views on purchasing items here, be it small or big, and what happens afterwards. So I’m in a shop, let’s say 7/11. I’ve selected myself a nice, cool, refreshing drink to quench my thirst and help me forget it’s hotter then hades. I manage to get to the front of the queue in a reasonable time, only a few people wanting to push in. The lady behind the counter has no problem scanning my can and informs me that it’ll be … Continue reading…

Time To Laugh (Part 1)

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Well, in a country (albeit a poor excuse for a country) with people that will make any sane person from the West, with an I.Q. in the double digits at the least, go practically insane after dealing with the relentless stupidity, idiocy, and self-centered pridefulness, I would like to give you an opportunity to laugh. Enjoy (This is Part 1)   Q:  How many flip jokes are there? A:  About 99 million, and multiplying like rabbits.   Q:  No, seriously.  How many flip jokes are … Continue reading…

Sky Cable – More Typical Filipino Stupidity

Sky Cable stupid pinoy idiots

Cignal Satellite TV really sucked. The slightest drizzle of rain knocked the signal right out, and so no TV until it stops raining. So when I moved, I decided I would switch to Sky Cable. I’ve never dealt with them before, but knowing it’s run by Filipinos, I fully expected all the typical lame brain idiot stupidity that you can always count on from a Filipino. So sticking with my general rule to keep all my expectations at subterranean low levels for success, I signed up … Continue reading…

Stating Truth Does Not Equate To Hate, Anger, or Unhappiness

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Isn’t it funny the idiotic tactics Filipinos will use in their attempt to discredit those who state the truth about them and their country? In their attempt to defend the ILLUSION that Filipinos try to emulate to the world about how they are so smart, and the best at just about any endeavor they take on, the first thing of which they accuse us is hate. If they can paint some kind of word picture that we are hateful, this will change the truth, and their … Continue reading…

Proof That Filipinos Can’t be Trusted

You know, I know, and we all know how dishonest and irresponsible and untrustworthy Pinoys/Filipinos can be.  Regardless of the task, promise, or whatever word they are obligated to live up to, they inevitably let you down almost 80% of the time, or whatever percentage above 50 you have personally experienced.  This story is primarily being stressed out towards the Filipinos who are in denial of the dishonesty, therefore I am providing this blog a series of evidences stating why I believe Filipinos can’t be … Continue reading…

Philippine National Anthem: “If I Only Had A Brain”

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I could wile away the hours Conferrin’ with the flowers Consultin’ with the rain And my head I’d be scratchin’ While my thoughts were busy hatchin’ If I only had a brain I’d unravel any riddle For any individ’le In trouble or in pain With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’ I could be another Lincoln If I only had a brain Oh, I would tell you why The ocean’s near the shore I could think of things I never thunk before And then I’d sit … Continue reading…

You Might Be a Flip If…

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Hey all, After 8 long years of trying to help the flips, making the mistake of marrying one of them, only to learn (the hard way) that all of the stereotypes, generalizations, and warnings about those people are true, I came up with a fun list of how you know you are a flip.  Enjoy.     You might be a flip if: –You believe that you will go to Hell if you wear a condom, but you think it’s OK to throw your teenage sons/daughters … Continue reading…

Filipinos, the Human Race’s Benchmark for Stupidity

Since I spend a lot of time traveling around Metro Manila, or as the Author Dan Brown referred in his latest novel as Manila being “The Gates Of Hell”. I see a lot of insane shit that goes on here and will be taking pics as i go along and post them here. Just fucking amazing the insanity that goes on here. The No “U” turn sign: Can anyone explain to me what the fuck does swinging a u-turn in front of these flips house … Continue reading…

The Never Ending Search For Pinoy Pride

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I have been on the search for Pinoy Pride for the past 10 years that I have been in The Philippines. I constantly HEAR it, so I’m thinking it must be somewhere, but for 10 years now, I haven’t seen any. Not a single speck. This “Pinoy Pride” is about the most elusive thing I’ve ever tried to see with my eyes, despite the fact my ears hear it all the time. Restaurants Shrimp; I don’t eat shrimp unless I have prepared and cooked it … Continue reading…

Filipino Retail Filogic: Opening and Testing New Products Before They Let You Buy

Filipino Retail Filogic

Have you ever departed a retail store in Philippines with your new product unmolested by their idiot employees? Buy an air conditioner, or a refridgerator, and these brainless imbeciles will drag the big heavy box out onto the showroom floor, completely block an isle, unbox the fucking thing, cutting all the packing straps, shipping safety stuff, pull it all apart just to plug the fucking thing in and see if it works. “See sir, it’s working.” I reply, “Well why wouldn’t it work? IT’S A … Continue reading…

PLDT: “Remind Us In A Week”

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Yes, PLDT, probably the largest communications utility in the country, completely dumb-shits all over themselves again. It’s not at all shocking, being that it’s comprised of typical dumb-fuck Filipino idiots. Honestly, they can’t get through 1 hour without dumb-fucking themselves in the ass. But hey, I need blog content, and you all need a jolly good laugh at the continuing saga of utterly mind-boggling Filipino stupidity. So anyway, I’m relocating (because of PLDT’s and Globe’s mind-boggling stupidity of telling me they could provide a connection … Continue reading…

Proof That Filipinos Are Immature

immature filipinos

We already know in general that Filipinos are immature little children pretending to be adults, regardless of whatever age they are at. I’ve met teens in my home country that are more matured than the average adult Filipino, simply by observing body behavior and how they operate in public. Examples would include; patience (waiting in line), compliance in following rules, knowing how to whisper, and of course cleaning up after themselves. Just for the record, the examples I just mentioned are traits that DO NOT … Continue reading…

Pinoy Pride is About Self Preservation Through Vengeance & Sabotage

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Pinoy pride is something that is talked about a lot here on Philippine Fail Blog. And many displays of Pinoy pride, when viewed by anyone NOT native Pinoy, is just like watching someone shoot himself in the foot. I know this well, as I am partnered and live with one for the past 10 years. Catch a Pinoy in a lie or underhanded act, and first of all, they are not mature or man enough to admit it. In their mind, they have full justification for … Continue reading…

Filipino Notary Public Idiocy – Utterly Pointless, Typically Stupid

Filipino notary public idiocy

My recent encounter with Filipino stupidity concerning Notary Public has me once again with my face in palm. It takes me back to another utterly stupid and pointless use of a notarization which BDO required. I lost my savings passbook a couple years ago, and went to request a new one. They wanted me to go to a notary public and have him notarize a written statement that I lost my passbook, then bring it back to them to receive a replacement passbook. What this … Continue reading…