Says it all about internet in the Failippines

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New Required Subject: Philippines 101

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I propose to all Philippine educational institutions that a subject called “Philippines 101″ be a required subject in all undergraduate programs. I have been searching for the single root cause of the wide-spread stupidity and poverty in this country called the Philippines. But then it dawned on me that there is no Single Reason why Filipinos generally lack common sense. There are HUNDREDS OF REASONS!!!  - so many that we can come up with an entire multiple-volume “Encyclopedia of Filipino Stupidity”. But to fit 1 … Continue reading…

Cheated – Even Before Marriage

Hi all, This is already from 2004, but from time to time until now, it still manages to get my blood boiling when it pops up in my mind. I need to vent it here and it can also serve as a warning to others, so I will share my story. Once a Filipina has a chance to marry a foreigner and go abroad, so she can help her relatives (read: the leechers clan), she will do anything to serve her own interests and that … Continue reading…

HELLO HATERS! I’m a Dumb Filipino Hypocrite Venting

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I noticed the post needs to be approved and that most comments of Filipinos I read is weak. Is this being filitered to throw valid arguments and own stupid fuck Filipinos? So I decided I’ll raise a fucking point! Hey dickwad! Dumb you say? Look who’s fucking talking stuck in this shit hole venting the shit out like a retarded whore without a fucking customer. Haha. Mr. “Eye Opener” why don’t you go get a fucking fork and stick it in your eye like the … Continue reading…

The Price of Happiness: Déjà-vu

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I’m writing this as a “Thank You” article dedicated to @Filofail and a few other authors (@CebuBear, @Eric, and @heyjoe) on here who had helped me out with life-saving advice back in May, because believe it or not, that same experience I was raising hell about here on PFB.com had occurred again. Before I proceed with the main story, I need to give you all a short introduction to my new hang-out buddy, who I happen to admire a lot.  Yeah, she is a Filipina, … Continue reading…

SM Appliance Center on the Art of Wasting Customer’s Time

SM Appliance Center always out of stock

I did something yesterday that I don’t often do. I left the house. But I left with full expectation that I would probably return having not accomplished at least one or more of the tasks I set out to do. But one must take risks in Philippines, otherwise no tasks can be accomplished. It’s a roll of the dice. My washing machine is 7 years old, and I’ve had it repaired a couple of times. I’m quite pleasantly surprised it lasted 2 years beyond it’s … Continue reading…

Philippine Property Laws: The Real Experience

Original 10 Philippine Property Laws by snakebitbytheflip 1. If I like it, it’s mine. 2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. 5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine. 8. If I saw it first, it’s … Continue reading…

Everyone is Filipino

We are Filipino

Hey buddies, I know it’s been 5 weeks since I last been on here, but I can’t run away forever.  I knew I would be back on here eventually if I ran into a Filipino-related problem (which is inevitably inescapable). Actually, I had negative Filipino encounters during those 5 weeks with my first one being within the first week of my absence from PFB.com, so don’t be too surprised that it took 5 weeks.  During my encounters, needless to say that it deals with their … Continue reading…

5 Annoying Words Filipinos Use Which Have a Completely Different Meaning

Viand- A choice dish; A tasty dish. Usually used to describe foie gras, caviar, or a savory piece of meat. Pinoy Viand- Anything you can eat with rice. Soy sauce, Fish sauce, Mung beans, Filthy pond fish, etc. Logistics- Flow of goods between 2 points. Pinoy Logistics- an english word accompanied by excuses as to why they will fuck up in every possible way Vernacular-using ordinary speech or language vs formal. Pinoy Vernacular-A term filipinos use to make themselves sound smarter than they really are; … Continue reading…

Culture of the Philippines

So I was bored today.  On a whim, while browsing Wikipedia, I decided to type “Culture of the Philippines”, fully expecting a blank page.  But no. There is, in fact, a whole 2800 words on the subject of Philippine Culture, replete with gems such as this: Traditional Filipino games One Traditional Filipino game is luksong tinik. A very popular game to Filipino children where one has to jump over the tinik and cross to the other side unscathed. Now, I realise this is a kids’ … Continue reading…

Out Of Stock, Try This Store Located Elsewhere… Infinite Loop

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Failapinos can’t do business. About 3 months ago i decided that i would highly enjoy having a magnetic charging doc specifically for my smart phone. What i thought would just take 1-2 visits to a Sony or Xperia store. However that was extremely folly of me to expect convenience in finding a product, instead it turned into a never ending quest. I always encounter flippyfailapino floor sales children, that truly don’t know their trade continue to direct me to the next Sony or Xperia store … Continue reading…

This Site is a Gold Mine!

Hello to all the readers here! This has got to be one of the best blogs I’ve come across on the Internet. It’s now 4:21 a.m. and I’ve just realized I’ve been reading on this site into the early morning. I’m 100% native Filipino, spent my years as a teenager in Cameroon and Kenya, became a physician in Argentina and now enjoying Cebu City. Seriously, I was beginning to think something’s wrong with me for thinking there’s a lot of stupid things going on around this place and a … Continue reading…

Top 10 Popular Jobs in The Philippines

1. Marry a foreigner 2. Have a family member married to a foreigner 3. Have a family member working outside Philippines 4. Inventing sudden illnesses paid by family 5. Scamming loved ones 6. Scamming foreigners 7. Divorce a foreigner 8. Getting pregnant with a foreigner 9. Never leaving parents 10. Moving in with spouse’s family Least popular job in the Philippines 1. Work … Continue reading…

Theft Failure

So for the 3rd time in less than 2 months some stupid Filipino tried to steal a part/accessory off my car. Fairly rare car i own and little bit on the expensive side. Very hard to find parts. There are only handful of people that can afford to own them and the majority of them live in my community. So the first time was a Tow Ring attached under the back bumper. This piece can easily be removed by simply twisting it to the left. … Continue reading…

In Light of the Singapore “Hate Blog” Against Filipinos

So the big news going on in Philippines right now is about the Singapore “hate blog” which allegedly advocated and encouraged discrimination or unfair treatment of Filipinos in Singapore. “The Philippine embassy has urged Singaporean authorities to take action against the blogger.” I have to say that if that blogger was instigating or encouraging unfair or discriminatory treatment of anyone in Singapore, and if it violates Singapore law, then I guess there is some basis for action against the blogger. But isn’t it ironic how … Continue reading…

Sky Cable: The Shame of Pinoy Pride and Filipino Stupidity

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Sky Cable local offices do not install telephones. But thank god they have a “CUSTOMER SERVICE HOTLINE”. I say “thank god” because customer service in Philippines is as NON-EXISTENT as any god. Ever since the installation of Sky Cable at my home, it has been exactly as I fully expected; UTTER STUPIDITY AND INCOMPETENCE. It wasn’t until I filed a complaint with the DTI that I got something done about the cable TV issue. It was the ordinary, typical Filipino stupidity of the brochure which … Continue reading…

Why Are You Here?…..HATERS!!!

Filipinos are so stupid

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?” This question is not one I have to wait around to hear some pissy Flip ask me. In fact it is one I am asking myself every day. “Why are you here? “ The question is loud and resounding; it reverberates around my mind over and over again. I ask myself this no less than 40 times a day.Every time I see a fucker doing something stupid, every time I see them having a victim mentality, every time I see them … Continue reading…

Can It Get More Stupid?

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To support@convergeict.com Jun 10 at 8:08 PM Dear Valued Cable TV Subscribers, We will be having an emergency maintenance activity in our Cable TV System tomorrow, June 11, 2014, from 10 am to 5pm. You may experience the following issues during this period: (1) Program Pause, (2) No Signal, (3) Insert Smart Card. If you happen to experience any of these problems, you may do the following steps: 1. Re-insert the access/smart card located on your Cable Box(ATM card like) or 2. Perform Channel/Auto search(refer to … Continue reading…

Pinoys on the Internet.

I’ve noticed this trend among filipinos making posts on popular websites like youtube and facebook. Filipinos aren’t actually aware of whats really happening in international politics and history, but they still feel the need to comment and make up their own biased nonsense. The South China Sea has recently been under high debate and observation then i came across this Jewel of an argument where this American charity relief worker in Manila lays the smack down on this random trolly filipino on the web. Essentially the … Continue reading…

My Daily Encounters with Irrationality Part 2: My landlord and her designer

I wanted to post this without any context, but I guess a short prequel is needed, to make things more clear. I wrote the below a few weeks ago, while I was right in the middle of the process of renewing the contract of my condo for another year. Where I come from, a renewal of your tenant agreement means that you’re entitled to receive certain additional amenities that were missing in the unit (such as a proper coffee table, balcony chairs, fan, blender etc in my case) with … Continue reading…

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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When I talk to most expats the only reason they are here is for girls. Period. Full Stop. Not the food, not the sights, not the architecture, not the Rice Terraces……..VERY SIMPLY, it is for the girls. Please keep this in mind. Now I can understand that if you are in your later years the idea of chasing 18 year old tail can brighten the eyes of any cynic. That is what you need to focus on. Just that. If you are coming here due to poor … Continue reading…

Love Children? Move to Iraq

So, pretty strange title wouldn’t you say?  So I’m browsing the internet today trying to find some news that isn’t too depressing and I come across a report that has just been created by the world famous children charity Save the Children. The report generated listed 178 of the worlds countries and ranked them on how safe it was for a child to grow up and other factors affecting childhood such as education, safety of parents etc. After reading the bulk of the report I … Continue reading…

Checkout Lines

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I go into Handyman to buy some things. There are about 30 salespeople more or less standing around ready to help customers with their shopping needs. I find one and then another to find what I am looking for. All goes great, I get my stuff and then head over to the registers. There are two people ahead of me and the cashier is waiting on some change to give to the first customer. All of a sudden there are five people behind me and still … Continue reading…

Common Sense in the Philippines: The Missing Link

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Common sense, is defined as “sound judgment derived from experience rather than study” Common sense has always come fairly easily to me. Maybe it was how I was raised or made to think by situations I was in. I really don’t know. I always considered common sense as the quickest way to get from point A to point B without conflict. Crossing the street doesn’t mean to me going to the corner and waiting for the street light to turn in my favor. For me … Continue reading…

The National Bird Of The Philippines… The Resilient Filipino Fighting Cock!

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Nearly two years ago I moved to this apartment because I my sleep was being affected by dozens of roosters, that were in and around my condo area. Currently my apartment is 1 of 3 in a row house in which mine is the one farthest from the front. Behind me sits a vacant lot of perhaps 1.2 hectares. On this lot there is a family of squatters. A man who will steal anything not nailed down, 2 kids,  and a fat ugly wife, as … Continue reading…

The Shopping Trip From Hell

…Otherwise known as ‘routine’, in the ‘Pines! Let me tell you, fellow Fail-O-Philes, in this my inaugural post, about the routine errand that became a nightmare, in a way that could only happen here in the Failippines. My Pinay girlfriend and I were at a ‘Gaisano’ mall today… Actually, let me back up and first tell you about the adventure we had in getting to said mall, with some tangential digressions of sociological commentary along the way. We went with a neighbor, the wife of … Continue reading…